Estate planning should provide clarity, prevent confusion and give you and your loved ones peace of mind. However, a common and often costly mistake people make during this process is choosing to favor one heir or beneficiary over another.
Whether it stems from a closer emotional bond, a perceived need or unresolved family dynamics, playing favorites in estate planning can lead to serious emotional, legal and financial consequences.
The emotional fallout
When one child or relative is given a larger share of the estate or entrusted with greater responsibility, it can breed resentment, jealousy and lasting rifts. What you may view as a rational or compassionate decision could be perceived as betrayal by others.
Even subtle favoritism—like giving a sentimental heirloom to one child while giving another a generic gift—can trigger emotional pain. The legacy you leave behind should ideally be one of love, fairness and unity.
Legal challenges and disputes
Favoritism can also open the door to costly and time-consuming legal battles. Disinherited or less-favored heirs may contest the will, alleging:
- Undue influence
- Mental incapacity
- Fraud
This not only delays the distribution of assets but can also deplete the estate through legal fees. If the favored individual was actively involved in your affairs toward the end of your life, it might strengthen suspicions of manipulation or coercion, regardless of their actual intentions.
Alternatives to playing favorites
If one heir has greater financial needs, such as a disability or caregiving role, consider addressing it explicitly in your estate plan. Trusts can be set up to provide for their unique needs without significantly altering the inheritance of others. Communication is key; explain your reasoning to all parties in advance, ideally in writing or through family meetings, to avoid shock or confusion during estate administration.
While it may seem natural to favor certain family members, doing so in your estate plan is rarely wise. With hands-on legal guidance, you can develop a well-thought-out, equitable estate plan that helps ensure your legacy is one of peace and unity.